The Holy Grail of Parenting- raising good kids. Every parent dreams of raising the best kid. But we can never tell how well we are doing with the parenting thing. We probably won’t be able to tell until the time we stop parenting. A time when our children have to adjust in society without our help and guidance.
To make it a little easier for you, we talked to a few parents who managed to do that with their kids. And there are some similar patterns in their parenting styles. Here’s what we found out:
Spend Quality Time
With technology entering every scope of our life, it’s easy to get distracted. It’s getting normal for families to eat while watching television. While it may not be easy (or even wise) to cut down all links with technology, it’s important to limit our use of technology.
Give your children quality time. Turn off your televisions, put down your cell phones while having dinner. Turn off the Wi-Fi one hour before going to sleep. Spend that time playing a board game or talking about the day. On weekdays, go to the local park. Play ball. Have a picnic. Laugh and enjoy the simple things in life with your kids.
Teach Problem Solving
When our child comes crying to us, our first instinct is to make it all right for them. Fix the problem and make them smile. What we often forget in our haste is that we can’t fix all the problems in the world. As our kids grow old, they will expect us to solve their problems for us. They will stress out when we aren’t there for them to pretty it all up.
That’s why it’s important to teach them to solve the problem. You know the solution. But it’s important to take a step back. You might feel it’s easier to just do it on your own. Resist the temptation. It might save you time and maybe even a few tears or a tantrum.
But it doesn’t in the long run. When they come to the same problem the next time, they will come back to you. The same situation with ensue. But if you give them the tools to solve the problem, the next time they will do it on their own. They will have a feeling of accomplishment. This will do a lot for their self-esteem also.
Love and Respect Them
For your child to grow up to love you and to love someone else, he needs to be loved first. He needs to feel what love feels like. Loving someone means taking out the time for them. Spending quality time with them. And when you love your child, you will respect them. You will see them as individuals who deserve your time and attention. Their views and opinions will factor into their lives. Love and respect from the parent build up a child’s confidence like no other pill in this world.
Gratitude is one of the best gifts that you can give to your child. Teaching and practicing gratitude has become as important as it has become difficult. In times, when advertisements are seeking out children actively, gratitude doesn’t come easy. There’s always a shiny, new toy.
Start with yourself. Your child will only learn gratitude when you practice it yourself. If you have problems with managing your financial situation, now’s the time to fix that. Learn how to repair your credit on your own.
Meanwhile, learn to appreciate the small things in life. Find happiness in helping someone. Go to an old shelter. Take your child with you. Enlist their help in showing gratitude.
We want our kids to grow up pretty fast. Sometimes, it feels like they are growing so slow. We are so proud when they start achieving milestones earlier than their peers. And we know that they can achieve so much, that we start pushing them. My advice is to take a break. Let them develop at their own pace. Let me enjoy their childhood. Don’t repress their need to laugh loudly or shriek. You don’t want to relive their childhood once they grow old.
Often as a parent, we become so involved in our children that we forget ourselves. We let them define our leisure time. We let them dictate what happens when we go out. While it’s important to stimulate your child, it’s also important to keep yourself content and happy. A happy and content parent will raise a happy and content child. And when you give yourself importance, you send a message to your child that you are also important.
You won’t be with your child for the rest of their lives to enforce discipline. It’s the marshmallow test. Research suggests that people who are able to resist temptation for a better future have better chances of financial stability and a zero criminal record. Self-discipline improves will power which is powerful determinant in a person’s success quotient.